Character Versus Character: Round One

So this subject cropped up over dinner last Sunday evening.

Who would win in a fight between characters portrayed by the same actor? Myself, Martin Fisher and Jason Cardy belted out several possible pugilistic punch ups, and you fellow reader, are invited to add more. But be prepared – some of these battles will be insanely one-sided.

Some notable examples to kick you off…

Iron Man vs Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr)

He may be a crafty, cunning, and massively intelligent super sleuth, but quite frankly Holmes is not going to have a hope in hell against Tony Stark and his armour. Right? 

Captain Jean Luc Picard vs Professor X (Patrick Stewart)

I reckon good old Xavier would have this one in the bag, but the battle would be supremely wordy and eloquent too.

Gandalf The Gray vs Magneto (Ian McKellan)

Now THIS would be worth watching. I reckon Gandalf would have the edge, but damn – it could get messy.

Spock vs Galvatron (Leonard Nimoy)

Now come on. Unless he’s using the Enterprise to fight Galvatron, Spock would clearly end up a stain on Galavaton’s boot.

Buckaroo Banzai vs Robocop (Peter Weller)

For all his techno-cool and toughness, I truly reckon Buckaroo would utterly outsmart Robocop.

Indiana Jones vs Han Solo (Harrison Ford)

Fuck yeah! Now we’re talking! The two coolest adventurers in history facing off? This battle boils down to one crucial factor – who’d shoot first? I’m not even going to call it.

Darth Vader vs The Green Cross Code Man (Dave Prowse)

Well duh. The Dark Lord of the Sith isn’t going to face much competition here, unless he gets really affected by hordes of crying children.

Mace Windu vs Jules (Samual L Jackson)

Yeah, so Jules and his cool afro and Bad Mother Fucker wallet wouldn’t be much of a match for Windu, but you know the fight would be just so coooooool.

T-800 vs Dutch (Arnie)

Dutch took down a Predator dude. Without hardware. I reckon he could reduce a Terminator to scrap pretty efficiently.

Batman vs Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton)

I can’t even imagine how this would roll. Probably Beetlejuice, but then… it’s Batman!

King Leonides vs Dracula (Gerard Butler)

For all his power and immortality, you just KNOW that Spartan hard man Leonides would fuck. Dracula. Up.

Wolverine vs Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman)

Sorry dude, but all your fancy weaponry isn’t going to stop those adamantium claws. Shnikt!

Hannibal Lecter vs Van Helsing (Anthony Hopkins)

Sorry dude, but all your fancy weaponry isn’t going to stop the super-cool cannibal from eating your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Fff-ff-ff-ff-ff-ff!!

Captain Von Trapp vs Van Helsing (Christoper Plummer)

Okay Helsing, you may be in with a shout on this one.

Peter Venkman vs Garfield (Bill Murray)

I can’t even imagine them fighting. They’d just head out for a beer and lasagna.

Ray Stanz vs Yogi Bear (Dan Ackroyd)

Yeah, I’m just being stupid at this point.

So there you have it, a mere taster of the multi-universal carnage we can dole out. Your thoughts?


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